Why Men Cheat vs Why Women Cheat

“About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey.”

Now let’s factor in the people who straight up lied, refused to take the survey, or somehow rationalized: “well technically I didn’t cheat because I was drunk, had a condom on, put it in her ass and just came back from my step sister’s cousin’s cat’s funeral so I was emotionally not in the right place” Once all these scenarios are considered I would say the percentage of people who cheated at least once in their lifetime is closer to 80 than 50%. Also, if you get into a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend, break up with him/her, go fuck someone then get back together 2 days later, that’s cheating. Be real with yourself, you found a loophole, but you’re a cheater.

Having said that, let’s get into why men cheat. There are more arbitrary and less common reasons, such as you’re just a rebound girl and his ex who he is still in love with came back into his life, there is a celebrity girl that he finds incredibly attractive and theres a girl that looks just like her who’s down for the dick, or the extremely rare case the stripper at the gentleman’s club is tuggin on his shit and said he can have her free of charge. Most times a guy cheats, it’s a totally unplanned alcohol fueled affair with some girl less attractive than his girlfriend who is all over him and knows how to turn the switch from the brain being the main decision making apparatus to his genitals taking over those responsibilities. This is done through sensual touching (a woman’s touch has incredible capabilities to release natural feel good hormones), dancing (a jiggling butt has the power to knock out a cellphone tower, as well as disrupt satellite tv), and the most common being sitting on a guy’s lap. The last one is used to check for an erection, which is the way to determine if the brain has been completely disengaged. As soon as they feel it, they will make a move and go for the kiss.
From there the man’s natural biological response is to hit the girl with the meat stick. He doesn’t love the girl, he’s not trying to hurt his girlfriend, it’s nothing deeper than a brief physical interaction. It’s a sport. This is what I call Stage One cheating.

Women on the other hand partake in what I call Stage Two cheating. Stage Two cheating is far more dangerous. Women don’t just go and fuck someone at a party in a completely mindless physical exchange like a man does. Women build an attraction through continuous social interaction. They really fall for the guy they’re messing around with. They will share secrets, and complain about their boyfriend. They fall out of love with them. When a woman begins cheating she will shortly end the relationship she was originally in if the guy is down to date her. A woman wont end a relationship unless she has another ship to jump aboard of. Any guy dating these women is real stupid if you ask me, because if the root of your relationship was dug from lies then how do you think your relationship will end? But who am I to judge. If the girl knows that you know she’s in a relationship she will put up some fake resistance to make it seem like you’ve initiated the whole situation when in fact she has set up all the pins, you just have to knock them down. If the guy never asks her if she has a boyfriend or not (fellas I don’t recommend asking women this, if they want you to know they’ll tell you) then the interaction proceeds like dealing with a single woman.

Of course there will be some overlap. Many women are down for a one night pussy beating if they are dealing with a high profile athlete or other minor celebrity (fame gets the waterslide real wet for some reason). Or often times if one of their girlfriends hypes up some dude’s sex game they will break some boundaries to find out for themselves. This always ends in “YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS”. Also men will do the long term shorty on the side if she provides a certain level of comfort that their girlfriend interrupts. Like if his girlfriend is always complaining, accusing and generally stressing the dude out he will rather kick it with the other girl who is instead taking measures to make sure he is relaxed and has his sexual needs met. For both sexes I recommend giving your girlfriend/boyfriend space and fucking them like it’s the last time you’ll ever see them.

All in all, how do I feel about being with someone that has a boyfriend? Absolutely not one of my friend’s girls, even if we’re not particularly close, and absolutely no one married or with kids. But if I don’t know you, and your girl wants something? Of course I’ll give it to her, I won’t date her or steal her from you, but I will fill the proverbial void you don’t. Consider it a favor.

 

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~ by finishyourdrink on June 3, 2012.

One Response to “Why Men Cheat vs Why Women Cheat”

  1. Wow, great article. I actually thoroughly enjoyed it. There really wasn’t one dull part in the article.

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