How to Make People Do Anything You Want Them To

If you do a quick overview of the world’s history and hand pick any 3 highly successful individuals they will all have one common characteristic. Every single one of them had the ability to organize people and divert their energy into a singular and particular cause. Humans ability to communicate and cooperate is the underlying reason for our drastic superiority over every other species. Individuals on both poles of the moral compass utilized this ability.

Adolph Hitler convinced the German people that all the problems of that nation could be attributed to the Jews and therefore they must be annihilated. He got a whole country of people to build the most efficient system of death the world has ever seen. And he never had to lay a single brick down, nor kill a single person himself.

On the more positive end of the spectrum, Martin Luther King Jr was able to organize massive sit ins, marches, and boycotts. Activities that got the participants jailed, hosed, beaten and worse. These efforts transformed the society in which we currently live in dramatically.

Many have argued that some are just born with the gift of charm and charisma which make them natural leaders. However, if you weren’t blessed with a magnetizing aura like some of the world’s most prominent people, there’s still hope for you. I have uncovered the secret to manipulation. And I will share it with you, just send me your credit card number, along with expiration date and CVV code (the 3 numbers on the back).

In all seriousness though, if you want someone to do something for you, just ask them when they are about to start some schoolwork. There have been times when I was just making all the preparations to start my paper, which includes brewing my cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer, 3 hours of surfing the same 3 websites, playing some house or dubstep, and if i was feeling real naughty, serving myself a piece of Tiramisu.

All of a sudden my phone would ring. It didn’t matter how far fetched, ridiculous, or obnoxious the request was … I would agree. Oh your car broke down? In New Jersey? Be right there! You just took a shit and your arms are too sore from the gym? Don’t worry I’ll get that for you! There’s a raccoon having a feast in your trash can? I knew this BB gun wasn’t a waste of money..The most ridiculous shit though, is the fact that I would rather do someone else’s homework than my own. if you have a history paper to write, your friend’s calculus equations suddenly become mega interesting.

So there you go, try it out. Ask some of your friends about their deadlines for papers, projects and homework when next semester rolls around, it’ll provide for good intel, as well as making them feel like you actually care about them.



~ by finishyourdrink on October 31, 2011.

2 Responses to “How to Make People Do Anything You Want Them To”

  1. The thought/idea of diverting your attention to something other than your own assignmets sounds like something i have seen many of my friends (including myself) do. Whenever i engage myself with a certain task, unconciously i wait for any distraction whether it be a phonecall, text, or as you mentioned, someone asking me for help with an austonamical multivariable calculus equation. Whether i know the answer or not is not the point – I just want something other than what i need to complete withinin the next 24 hours. Overall, i beleive its innate to want to do something other than your own task, and if you dissagree, take your organic chemistry homework over to a high school chemistry class and see how willing you are to solve/balance a redox chemical reaction. We all look for the easy path in life, until someone else becomes an obsticle, and thats when we realize all those phonecalls/texts/calculus equations were all part of your oponents unconcious master plan – getting head.

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